


It'll Be Okay

by flightoftheseraph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Castiel and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Crying Jack Kline, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Jack Kline Angst, Supportive Sam Winchester, Trans Jack Kline, Trans Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightoftheseraph/pseuds/flightoftheseraph
Summary: Sam is worried after Jack's Apocalypse World and tries to help with his son with his gender identity as best he can, but he might be in over his head.





	It'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to post this pride fic but I kept making changes and one thing lead to another but here it is! It ended up being two chapters with mild sastiel.
> 
> Jack has mild depression associated his time spent in the apocalypse world, as well as anxiety because he was isolated and had no one to talk to about gender dysphoria while he was there. He also has some eating troubles and lack of appetite (which I wanted to mention here just in case because there wasn't a warning tag for it). 
> 
> This takes place after 13.22, but before 13.23, Lucifer and AU Michael are still trapped in Apocalypse World

Jack hadn't eaten anything all morning - instead he's picking at his food like it's going to bite him and picking at the sleeves of his sweater. It was getting harder and harder to get his kid to eat anything - he seemed to be nibble at food, but he refused to eat. It was still early morning and usually, they never ate breakfast at all but Sam was trying to make a routine. 

Sam clears his throat and Jack stops picking at his food, Sam stops eating as well. The silence is heavy as Jack stares blankly at the table. 

"Is everything alright? Sam says hesitantly. Jack pauses and stares at Sam's concerned face. He swallows and averts his eyes. 

Instead of answering his question Jack purses his lips and speaks suddenly, "Do you think my mother hates me for who I am?" Sam stops chewing of all - not expecting that he tries to remain calm like the question didn't startle him. He finishes chewing and tries to compose himself - the words hurts his heart. 

"Jack, she loved you no matter what you know that. She knew would be proud of who you are and she would care that would were happy" Sam says, Jack's miserable expression doesn't leave his face. Jack pauses before he speaks again 

"...I remember, before I was born, I could hear _her_ , and I felt what _she_ felt,” Jack's voice becomes strained, “She was so happy to find out she was having a daughter. I think maybe.. She might be mad at me for not…” Jack mutters as he trails off. His blue eyes held a sadness beyond his years. 

But it's a familiar feeling it’s one Sam knows because he’s felt it before. At the very least he knows it's something he's more equipped to deal with. Sam recalled that feeling of loss, not only of his mother but also feeling depressed by the fact she seemed to mourn a version of him that wasn't him. What little had been salvaged from the fire, was dedicated to a daughter that never was. Even getting to know his mom now and how wonderful and supportive she was - it didn't erase all those years of hurt and confusion. 

“Jack, I know how you feel, like you’re betraying your mom in some way. But your mom loved you for _you_ and if she were to meet you she would have been even more proud. I know it’s hard to have heard those words, but if she knew you know she would love you as you are," Sam says. 

Jack smiled with such warmth, “Really?” His eyes brightened, Sam nodded

“Of course she would be proud of you no matter what. She wanted you happy no matter what."

"If you're happy she would be too _and_ she's proud of you of course," Sam reassured. 

Jack smiles and digs into his lunch happily and Sam chuckles. He can't remember he's seen Jack really happy. It's the first time he's seen Jack actually smile in a very long time. He knew that he was carrying so much on his shoulders. Sam feels the weight and worry temporarily lift, even if it's only for a brief moment. 

They finish eating breakfast - Jack helps by cleaning the kitchen with him and drying the dishes. He wants to voice his thoughts and ask Jack if he needs anything but he doesn't want to push him away or overwhelmed because he knows how much Jack has been dealing with.

Sam sighed as he sipped his coffee - he'd been drinking it non- stop since the hunters had joined them. It was strange having the bunker full of people. The change was not unwelcome, but it was certainly an adjustment. Still he found it natural to fall into the leadership role. 

Jack had wandered off to his room - While Sam did his daily briefing - everyone seemed to fall nicely into hunting here. Sam couldn't imagine the adjustment they were all dealing with so he tried to make it homely and welcoming as much as possible and keeping busy was the best way to help everyone adjust. 

He'd noticed Jack hadn't returned as the last of the hunters made their way out of the bunker and it made him stop. Something was off and he knew that. The conversation this morning still fresh in his mind. 

There was a banging from somewhere in the bunker. Sam tenses and reaches for his gun in his waistband. Castiel is out looking for any connections to Michael and Dean on a supply run, so it can't be either of them.

Sam walked softly and turns each corner with caution and as turns each corner and finds himself alone. He reached the armoury and the sound is very clear. He tucks his gun into his waistband. The sound hurts his eyes as he rounds the corner. 

Like someone is yelling, but much _much_ more powerful. 

_Jack._

Sam gets the armoury door open, knowing there is no way Jack is going to hear him knock. He finds Jack screaming, powerful yellow bursts of energy get thrown at the walls. His eyes glowing gold. There's chips and cracks in the walls of the shooting range but thankfully even the bunker is strong enough to withstand Jack's powers. 

Jack's fists are clenched and he roars again, this time turning towards the door as he must see Sam enter and he's caught in the crossfire. Sam hits the wall, it stings, but he's been through worse. Jack is kneeling next to his father instantly, on the verge of panicking. Tears spilling over his cheeks; flush from screaming. 

Sam is quick to get up, he's a little shaken, but he's had far worse. He hurries to comfort his son - there are tears streaming down his face and he wipes them with the back of his sleeve. Sam can't help but stare at the damaged concrete walls - the gashes just a reminder of Jack's pain. Sam pulls Jack into his arms -his son grabs onto his shirt like a lifeline and begins to sob harder. 

Sam brushes Jack's hair gently as he sniffles and hiccups. 

"Jack it's okay, I'm okay, it was an _accident_ ," Jack is nodding and still crying, his hands wrap around Sam's shoulder as if to make sure he's still there - that's he's okay. 

Jack paused and raised a gentle hand to the side of his father's hair and there was a tingle of grace, bright and pure, and suddenly there was no pain. 

"I was just...trying to use my powers to help... _fix me_. What's the point of having so much power but I can't even.. _fix_.." Jack says, hugging his arms around himself. He's never looked so young and Sam is quick to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jack, I wish I had the answer, but it's frustrating but just because you can't use your powers it doesn't mean you can't change. You don't need to be fixed, I didn't need to be fixed. You will change, maybe not magically and maybe not with powers, I know it's unfair, but in time it will be okay" 

Jack stared down and glared at the ground, "I just want it to be okay, I just want to be _okay_ ,"

Sam nodded, "You will be Jack one day it will all be okay, you'll get there. I did and you will too," 

Jack's face softens, "You promise?" he says, Sam says, "I promise," he says. 

Jack nodded, his expression still incredibly upset but he was no longer crying, said he smiled. Sam stands up and helps Jack to feet, "Can we have burgers for dinner?" Jack asks as he wipes his eyes. Sam smiled, "Of course," Jack smiled as he stood and sniffled. He helped him stand and they walked the kitchen. 

Sam helped Jack up from the cold cement floor and walked towards the kitchen. 

Jack seemed content as he ate. He liked finger foods. His anxiety attack momentarily forgotten. Sam knew that this was a temporary respite 

Jack asked if he could have tea to make him feel better and Sam smiled as he helped him from the floor and into the kitchen. 

Jack boils water and grabs the honey lemon tea from the cupboard and he waits for it to boil while Sam 

Sam thinks as Jack enjoys his tea - Jack's face is still tear-streaked and his cheeks red from crying and panicking. The adrenaline leaving his system after what just happened. He feels like he's failing - wishing he could take all of Jack's feelings and destroy them. He didn't want Jack to feel pain or worry, he's just a child and he's had far enough already.

Jack was cooking burgers on his own as he rinsed his tea cup in the sink. Sam took that moment (as he heard the clattering of pants and the stove turning on 

Sam pulls out his phone to text Castiel as he leans outside the entrance to the kitchen and he begins walking to the library. 

Sam sits at the library table - staring into the grain of the wood - he swallowed and pulled out his phone and texted Castiel telling him what happened. Castiel was just as worried about Jack as he was, maybe just maybe the angel would be able to help Jack where he seemed to be failing. 

Maybe Castiel's relationship with gender (or lack of Sam thought more accurately). Maybe Jack needed another perspective on gender, he was hoping so anyway. Sam ran his hand through his hair as he anxiously and sighed. 

He isn't sure how long he sits there lost in his own mind and worries but Jack emerges from the kitchen with a bright smile and two plates holding burgers and he placed one in front of his father. 

They both eat peacefully waiting for Dean and Castiel to get home from their hunt. 

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter is going to be a conversation with Castiel (initially this was only one chapter but I wanted Castiel to talk more with Jack about gender). This started out as just TFW 2.0 going to a pride parade and 
> 
> Thanks for reading! ❤


End file.
